With all the changes that are currently happening in my life., I remembered a sermon I watched by Pastor Mark Driscoll about what a real man is. I found it on Itunes and downloaded it and listened to it again. As he was explaining what each kind of guy was, I was trying to figure out which one of the guys he was explaining was me. After the first three out of four were said, I didnt think he was going to say the type of my that i was. The fourth guy was exactly what I am. The fourth personality said was the “funny guy” and the guy that everyone enjoys being around but that no one respects. His whole life is a joke.

Now When I heard this personality, I knew he was talking about me. Now I don’t think that my life is a complete joke but i know that a lot of it is. I don’t think that people respect me and its because of how I portray myself. Im not trying to whine about my life or anything.Im trying to take this summer to make a better Mark. Im turning 25 in September and I am dreading this fact. This is because I dont feel at all like I am 25 years old. I feel like a 20 year old guy not knowing who he is or what he stands for.  I figured that four years in the military starting at 18 would make me grow up. I did do a lot of growing up when I was in the army but i didnt grow up completely. I did some pretty stupid things in the army that no one knows about. I didn’t save money till i was deployed. I didnt go to church. I didn’t grow with my relationship with the Lord. Towards the end of my military career I gained a lot of weight. I didn’t take advantage of free schooling I could have done at a local community college. I went home every change I got and even went home when I wasnt supposed to see a gf who I probably shouldn’t have been with in the first place. Why am I writing this in my blog for all to see because this is my summer of change and it helps me to type it all down so I can change who I am.

When I got out of the army and went to college, nothing really changed. I was surrounded by more Christians and my relationships with God got a little better but when I got my little group of friends I put it in cruise control and just cruised for the next 2 years. I didnt have to worry about friendships cause i had them. I didn’t have to worry about money because I had it. All I ever worried about was girls and my weight. I never made great choices when it came to girls and I never took the opportunity to do something about my weight and I just complained about it. I loved that life. There was nothing to worry about and I could just keep it on cruise control and not have to worry about anything.

I think what I am learning this summer is being a man isn’t about having a job, a wife, kids, makin money, having a big house and nice cars. Its about taking responsability for yourself and moving forward with your life. Most importantly, is moving forward with my relationship with God. Becoming a man first starts with me accepting that I cant do it without God. He is my foundation and upon him I must stand. Before I can find a woman to spend the rest of myself with I have to figure out who I am. I have been trying to figure out why I havent found her yet and its because I havent grown up yet. I havent become the man that I have to be yet. If she knew me now she wouldnt want to marry me and better yet she wouldnt want to be with me at all. What is this blog im currently writing all about? What is a man? A man is moving forward and not looking back. A man is taking responsabilitiy for his life and taking control of it. This is the man i want to be. I want to be respected as a man. I know what I have to do and its time for that CHANGE. Its time to grow up and be the Man that God intended me to be.

P.S. not all my blogs posts will be this serious but Its on my heart. Live long and Prosper

Mark T

Hello World. It is officially the first day of the rest of my life. This phrase as been thrown around a lot these days but I think that for me it means CHANGE. I feel like I have been stuck in cruise control for the past two years. I feel like I haven’t moved forward as a person at all. Here re some of the problems I have been facing in the last couple years that I haven’t actually done anything about…

1. I have been set finically because of serving in the army from 2005-2009. At college I was called “rich Mark” because i always had a decent amount of money and i didn’t have any bills so I would just spend on it whatever and whoever I wanted. This actually really hit me hard this summer because I was saving up for a newer car and I spend most of my savings on it and left hardly any money for me to live on in the summer. So for the first time in my life I have been behind on money. This is because I have made a lot of very poor financial choices and that is what why I am making a CHANGE.

2. I have been trying to lose weight since I left the army. What In 2007 I weighed 185 and i was in the greatest shape of my life. I went got deployed to Qatar with a battery that I got stuck with and I was pissed off at the world so I let myself go over the next 15 months. i have weighed 245-255 for the last 2 years. I have also been going in and out of diets since then too. I have tried everything but what I was really looking for was a quick fix and i could never put in the work for a long and steady diet plan. I was “supposed” to start on this summer but I just started it yesterday. I have put friends around me that will help me keep my goal to get under 200 pounds and hopefully down to about 190. I know I can do it. It is going to take a lot of self discipline but i know I CAN DO IT! That is why I am making a CHANGE.

So This isnt about me making a few changes it is about making LIFE CHANGES